Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 24

I notice how the corona measures are actually helping me to relax. In the Netherlands, everyone is asked to work from home, to stay inside. The schools and bars are closed, my gym is closed and the streets in Rotterdam are quiet. I feel like I am finally allowed to rest, to stay inside, write, and don’t do anything else.

I an way I choose the best time to be not ok, a rare time in which I am not the only person that needs to slow down, a rare time in which the whole world seems to slow down. Until this morning I was continuously confronted with people living their lives, doing what they are supposed to do, and this forced me to do more than I can, every day.

This morning when I woke up, I did not see any people rushing to their jobs. I did not have to ignore the messages of my friends about the workout plans for today. I did not have to consider going anywhere, because no one is going somewhere.

Today, for the first time, I feel ok about staying home, about taking it easy and taking my rest. I believe it is a bit stupid that I need a global epidemic to finally feel some peace, some rest. But I feel like it really helps me, good timing.

Today does make me wonder, again, about the life I live. Wouldn’t it be better to live in a more quiet village, to have a less demanding job, to just live a less fast life. Often when I’m not ok I think about this. I think about a life with less people around me, with less things, with less tasks in a day.

But I know that on the good days I will be bored. I will feel less enjoyment, less passion, less excitement. The real me would not like a quiet place. So for now I will just enjoy the corona induced quietness around me, and who knows, maybe once the rest of the world can start their lives again, I will be able to do the same.

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