Loneliness

I just really wish I could be up there... Loneliness - Anna30DAYSADHD

I am afraid of the story my body tells

30 DAYS OF FEELING - DAY 18 I have many insecurities but most of them are linked to the awareness of my own body, created by a kind of disconnection. For me, my body has always felt too big, it just doesn't fit me I don't see it at mine. Probably because the body of …

Rewriting my truth

30 DAYS OF FEELING - DAY 14 Schema therapy is about healing the child within yourself, about bringing her (or him) back to life and help her change and grow. It is a kind of re-parenting therapy, in which you yourself, together with your psychologist rewrite the painful moments of your childhood, kind of showing …

Painting My Trauma – Not Good Enough

I was a dreamy kid, happy to spend hours inside my own imagination, enjoying my own mind and the ideas that popped up in there, but for my family my mind was a taboo, something that should not have existed in the first place but should definitely not be shown to anyone. They could not …

There is No Escape, No Reason, No End – Continuity of Mild Abuse Causing Major Trauma

When we usually think about abuse, we think about the big things. A stepfather that can not keep his hands to himself, a mother covered in bruises, a skinny child in dirty clothes, bones that break too often, blood stained underwear, a black eye... Real trauma-causing abuse is often considered sexual or physical, big and …

Pain, Pride, Sadness and Anger

My only memories of safety from when I was young, are in my room, alone in the kitchen or in the garden. The little hammocks on the ceiling for my stuffed animals, my bunny circling around in the washing machine, or my imaginary friend Jack, who was always there for me when I had become …

Trapped

I feel trapped, locked up in a kind of mold my parents created for me when I was very young. A mold that does not fit at all, but a mold I adjusted myself to, a mold I filled up with sadness and emotional self-control to make it fit me. This mold has been there …

You Don’t But Your Parents!

I recently started schema therapy, also called lifetrap therapy. This kind of therapy believes that the problems we encounter in our adult life, often originate in our childhood, in the early connection or relationship with our parents. The way our parents choose to connect with us, is what we get familiar with, it's what we …

My Next Step – Schema Therapy

Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 29 My current therapy, as well as my 30 days of writing, are about to end. The past weeks I have learned how to love myself and how to love my ADHD devil again. I got a glimpse of what I can be like, an idea of how happiness …

When Therapy Ends

Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 25  I broke down in the end of February but it wasn't until almost 2 months later that I found someone to help me with what I was going through. It took a long time to find a psychologist to help me, but from mid-April my therapy started. In …