Self-Hate Turned me into a Monster

Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 18 Yesterday's post touched a sensitive nerve in me. While I was writing about my returning laughter, I suddenly realized what I had been doing to myself, how I was the one that took away my own ability to lice for so many years. It hurt me to realize …

Feelings Dictionary

Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 2 I am worthless. I just pretend to have a mental problem so I can finally be my true self, the lazy, crazy and pathetic person I am today. There is nothing wrong with me besides my own inability to live a normal life, my extreme weakness and worthlessness. …

I am the devil

Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 1 In the next 30 days, I will go on a journey through my own mind. A journey that will focus on self-love and self-compassion. A journey that should increase the kindness I treat myself with. A journey on which I will learn to change my old habits of …

What is Self-Compassion?

Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 0 I am reading a lot about self-compassion, during my therapy sessions, together with my psychologist, I have found out that I lack the ability to love myself, on most days I can not even be nice to myself. I have very high standards, I don't allow mistakes and …

Smoking Guilt

The thing I hate most about myself, is that I smoke. For 12 years now I walk around smelling disgusting, depending on these stupid sticks I just can not seem to live without. In a way, I am a terrible smoker, I hate the smell and I can not stand to be in a room …

Lack of emotional compassion

My therapy had started, focussing on self-compassion. I have to learn how to love myself, how to listen and how to be more compassionate and sweet with the person I am. The first exercise I have to complete is writing myself a letter, a letter in which I tell myself how the thing that I'm …

ADHD induced puberty

I believe it is time for me to open up about the worst period of my life. The part I'm ashamed of, the part I have been hiding from myself and everyone around me. The years I have never been honest about, or actually, never been able to talk about. It is the period in …