Today was once magical

30 DAYS OF FEELING - DAY 11 I have always believed that if I want to have a great relationship, if I want to find the love of my life, I should find someone who is born between the 3th and 13th of September. As a kid, I only new two couples, my grandparents, who …

I Am An Architect!

These four words used to mean everything to me. Since I was about 3 to 4 years old, I knew I wanted to design buildings, I knew I wanted to spend my time drawing and thinking about spaciousness, combinations of materials and how people live in and use a building. Architecture has always fascinated me, …

Do my dreams tell me I feel guilt?

I believe that dreaming is important. I believe dreams are there to deal with the experiences in life, to process the thoughts we have on the things we encounter. I believe that dreams are made up by our true feelings, even the ones we hide from ourselves during the day. Dreams are extremely personal and …

Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 28

Opa is the Dutch word for grandfather. A word with a lot of meaning. A special word. I have never met my other grandfather, so opa for me, is only one person. One extremely special person. For me, opa is not a father of a parent, opa is my Opa. My friend, my parent and …

ADHD and grieve – how not to do it.

Death has always scared me, it has always make me feel really awkward. I had never been able to look at a dead body in a coffin. I never knew what to say to or how to behave around people that had lost someone, so I just avoided them. And I had never allowed myself …

Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 27

Today it has been exactly one year since I have spend a day with my grandpa, the most important person in my life. One year ago, it was the day before he died, and for some reason I felt I wanted to spend my day with him. Still I'm extremely thankful for this. So thankful …

Losing my biggest cheerleader

Until a year ago, I had one big cheerleader in my life, one person that had always believed in me, that had always respected me, and always loved me. Unfortunately he had been sick for as long as I can remember. His sickness got worse and worse, until last year, when it got beyond the …

Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 26

I started with high hopes for today. Although I'm distracted all day, by tears caused by the loss of my grandpa and joy of the memories of all the time we spend together, I also felt a bit relieved. I was finally able to talk and cry about it. I felt like I was finally …

Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 25

I notice that my thoughts are changing this week. I had so many things I wanted to write about, so many ideas about my life with my ADHD devil. But this week they have lost their importance when I discovered today's date, the 17th of March. This day, one year ago, was the last day …

Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 11

Today I found a letter I got from my sister last Christmas. In the letter she tells me how proud she is of me, how proud she is of how I was able to deal with everything that happened and still be great at my job, how proud she is of how I changed my …