30 DAYS OF FEELING - DAY 13 Today was once magical but now seem more painful than any other day of the year. It is king's day in the Netherlands, and when I woke up I saw a street filled with flags and balloons, the country is ready to celebrate but I am prepared to … Continue reading It was his day long before it was the king’s
30 DAYS OF FEELING - DAY 11 I have always believed that if I want to have a great relationship, if I want to find the love of my life, I should find someone who is born between the 3th and 13th of September. As a kid, I only new two couples, my grandparents, who … Continue reading Today was once magical
These four words used to mean everything to me. Since I was about 3 to 4 years old, I knew I wanted to design buildings, I knew I wanted to spend my time drawing and thinking about spaciousness, combinations of materials and how people live in and use a building. Architecture has always fascinated me, … Continue reading I Am An Architect!
My memories of my father are covered in pain. My whole life he has made me feel worthless, he has beaten me, he has brought me down and he never understood nor allowed the person I am or was. I have never been good enough for him and he took every chance to express this. … Continue reading Toxic Insecurities
I believe that dreaming is important. I believe dreams are there to deal with the experiences in life, to process the thoughts we have on the things we encounter. I believe that dreams are made up by our true feelings, even the ones we hide from ourselves during the day. Dreams are extremely personal and … Continue reading Do my dreams tell me I feel guilt?
Day 29, but actually it is day 366, or day 1. One year ago a new life started for me. A life without my grandpa, a life without my parent, teacher and cheerleader, a life without my safe place, without the one person that has always loved me, the only person that understood me and … Continue reading Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 29
Opa is the Dutch word for grandfather. A word with a lot of meaning. A special word. I have never met my other grandfather, so opa for me, is only one person. One extremely special person. For me, opa is not a father of a parent, opa is my Opa. My friend, my parent and … Continue reading Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 28
Death has always scared me, it has always make me feel really awkward. I had never been able to look at a dead body in a coffin. I never knew what to say to or how to behave around people that had lost someone, so I just avoided them. And I had never allowed myself … Continue reading ADHD and grieve – how not to do it.
Today it has been exactly one year since I have spend a day with my grandpa, the most important person in my life. One year ago, it was the day before he died, and for some reason I felt I wanted to spend my day with him. Still I'm extremely thankful for this. So thankful … Continue reading Fighting the ADHD devil – DAY 27
Until a year ago, I had one big cheerleader in my life, one person that had always believed in me, that had always respected me, and always loved me. Unfortunately he had been sick for as long as I can remember. His sickness got worse and worse, until last year, when it got beyond the … Continue reading Losing my biggest cheerleader