30 DAYS OF FEELING - DAY 20 I have been trying to write this 20th day for weeks now, day after day I get my pen and notebook to get stuck somewhere in the first paragraph. Sixteen pages with no more than five lines are before this one, trying to describe an event that truly … Continue reading Suddenly I was free of everything my mother made me believe I was
Elpida (Greek: Ελπίδα) is a Greek word which means "hope."
These four words used to mean everything to me. Since I was about 3 to 4 years old, I knew I wanted to design buildings, I knew I wanted to spend my time drawing and thinking about spaciousness, combinations of materials and how people live in and use a building. Architecture has always fascinated me, … Continue reading I Am An Architect!
Without me even noticing, I stopped writing in the past weeks. My mind has been too occupied with other things to keep focussing on my mental health the way I used to, and when I found myself overthinking life at 4 AM last night, I figured it is really time to start again, to redirect … Continue reading Distracted By a New House
Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 27 I used to be blessed with very minor periods. I believe no one could figure out when I used to have them, every month I was able to keep working and go to the gym, even getting punched in the belly during boxing wasn't a problem. Besides a … Continue reading Period and Burnout
Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 10 Hiding behind a shield of anger when you own a good amount of self-hate is pretty easy. The anger that surrounds you prevents other people from getting close, preventing you from any potential love or joy. The shield makes sure that no good things can happen to you … Continue reading When Hate turns into Sabotage
Loving the ADHD devil - DAY 5 I know that I'll not be able to return to the life I used to have, not anytime soon and maybe never. Corona changed our world and no matter how much I progress in my mental health, I will not reach my old normal life. Until now, I … Continue reading Reshaping my new future
I notice how my goal has been to get back to my old life, to connect to the world I used to be a part of before I broke down. But what I forgot, is that my breakdown is not the only thing keeping me from this world, the COVID-19 virus has damaged our world, … Continue reading I can not go back
I start to cry less often, my energy seems to be returning and I notice how I start to look for contact with other people. A small step in the direction of becoming myself again. I am now able to do my groceries without reaching my limits, without getting completely overwhelmed and yesterday I was … Continue reading A stressful blinding light
When I tell people I have an ADHD devil living inside my brain, they never believe me. People don't notice anything strange about me and I definitely don't fit the image of the overactive little boy that appears inside their mind when they hear the word ADHD. My ADHD remain invisible most of may days, … Continue reading I am not supposed to be great and that is ok