We Need More Flaws, Diagnosis and Superpowers!

Every time I want to leave the house I have no clue where my keys are. I blame my boyfriend for putting them somewhere without telling me but off course we both know that I am the one who lost them. Usually they are in my jacket, but off course the jacket is never on the wardrobe, and when I finally find my jacket and discover and empty pocket I know I will be late for at least 20 minutes that day.

I loose my keys, yes, and my house does not always look cleaned, many times I find myself without clothes to wear because I forgot to do laundry and at work I might not be the person to finish the fifth round of spelling checks for a 20 page document. I am chaotic, impulsive and without an activated hyperfocus able to send some unfinished (or just the completely wrong) documents to a client, but everyone has his or her own flaws right? No one is perfect, with or without ADHD.

The difference is however, that when you have an ADHD-brain, people blame your flaws on your type of brain. It is not you, it is the ADHD that gives you your flaws, and because your flaws have a diagnoses, they should be treated. How many non-ADHD-diagnosed-brains do you know that are always late when you’re going for a drink with them? I know many, my boyfriend is Greek and the whole Greek culture seems to be about living without any idea of time, yet no one will tell the Greek people that they should really change themselves, wear a watch, plan their day and make sure they will never be a even a second late again in their lives. Greeks are Greeks, and you know to be at least 30 minutes late yourself when you meet them, knowing you will never change a Greek. But then why not the accept the same thing from an ADHD-brain?

Because there is a globally-accepted cause or problem, and a problem means there must be a solution, like there is for all other problems. Simple as it sounds, but what I guess many parents, teachers and bosses forget is that we are talking about a person here, about the feelings of this person, and as far as I know, feelings don’t often go hand-in-hand with a simple logical solution, definitely not when the solution is made-up by neurotypical logic, one that does not understand the non-neurotypical problems.

Well fuck all those solutions that are forced upon us non-neurotypical-brains.

I spend years trying to fix my flaws, undo my diagnosis and live according to the solution of my problems and I brought me a depression and a burnout. I am who I am, I am a person with ADHD and fortunately I have many strengths to compensate for my flaws, from myself as well as from the ADHD devil that lives inside me. What would a group of friends be without one person that brings up the idea of a last-minute trip to a tropical island as a bachelor(ette) party? What would the game makers do without people that need an intense dose of dopamine every once in a while? Why would a find-my-key key-chain that is also able to find a phone ever be invented without people that loose everything every day? What would a boss do without the rare people that are able to see something that others can not? What would a classroom be without one kid that just can not sit still? What would we talk about when everyone is the same and no one stands out?

Life, or our world, would become boring if we would be all similar. We need differences in his world, we need some flaws and superpowers, more of them even. Understand your flaws and make up for them with what your are good at, let them be a part of you but the whole. The first is the most difficult, but if you can not suceed in this, if you can not accept your flaws they will take over the good parts, and that is something, I believe, we should all understand.

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