Painting My Trauma – Safety

This is the first painting of a series in which I will try to visualize my trauma, my childhood pain, the loneliness and lack of warmth and love, the abuse and the rejection. My childhood wasn’t fun, it wasn’t fair. I had to grow up too soon, life got too hard too early and I had to fight for myself for as long as I can remember. But it wasn’t all bad, and that is what this first painting is about, the safety I found within my parent’s rejection.

Because no matter how bad my parents treated me, no matter how dark they made my world and no matter how different and wrong they made me believe I was, I still found a place to be myself. I found my own good, my own light, my own peace. And maybe them increasing the distance between us, gave me the space I needed to grow.

I am strong because I have always been able to find my light in any darkness. Darkness is safe for me, I can be myself in the dark, I just don’t know what I am within a light…

Safety – Anna

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