COVID-19 and my relationship

I have a great relationship with my boyfriend. We understand and support each other and we can be completely open to each other. To be honest, I never really believed in love and relationships, but the more I got to know my boyfriend, the more I had to start admitting there might be something like a soulmate. We fit together so perfectly. Off course we have some little struggles sometimes, but we always know how to get past them. Overall we are an extremely happy couple, happy with each other and enjoying every thing about each other.

Corona changes all of us

The Corona crisis, the global lockdown, affects all our lives. We are bound to our houses, we can not go out and we can not meet our friends. Around me I hear a lot about relationship problems, mostly people that live together but used to live a really busy life, spending just a limited amount of time together. Suddenly, because of the quarantine, a lot of relationships changed, mostly by being around each other all the time, and often this causes troubles, irritations and fights.

A friend of mine has been with his girlfriend for almost 9 years, however, because of the lockdown his relationship is on the edge of failing, simply because they are stuck together inside their apartment, unable to spend time apart from each other while they desperately need this in order to stay happy in their relationship.

Our story

For me, the COVID-19 virus has a different impact on my relationship, me and my boyfriend don’t fight, not very often at least. Off course a lot has changed in the last months, Corona has an impact on our relationship, but not only a bad one, in a way, the lockdown is also improving our connection with each other. That is why I want you the story about our relationship, about how it was before and how it is now, showing how things have changed but that change is not always only bad.

Before

We love spending time together, we like to have each other around and do things together. We’re both pretty active people and although we try to have a relaxing evening with candlelight at least once a week, we used to go out together most of our time. Lunch, dinner, drinks, concerts, parties, shopping or a simple walk, with or without our friends, we always had something fun to do together.

Together we had found a balance between the time we used to relax together, the time for activity and the time with friends. This balance was perfect for us and made us truly enjoy every minute we spend together.

Besides our diverse together-time, we both used to have a busy life, both being occupied with work and workouts from early in the morning till late at night. We both had out own lives in this time and because of this, ending our days together was a blessing, a moment we both looked forward to. Each day we shared our stories while holding each other before we fell asleep.

Expectations

Three people having sex.

When we heard my boyfriend would no longer work from his office, when our gyms closed, as well as all bars and restaurants, I mainly thought about the possibility to have sex all the time. Before the lockdown, on the rare occasion that he would work from home, I always spend my lunch break with him a lunch that did not involve any food.

I expected the quarantine to give us a little more time together, a little more naked time, but besides this, I didn’t expect the COVID-19 virus to have an impact on our relationship. I believed things between us would remain the same, however, I was completely wrong.

Much more time

The biggest change is the amount of time we spend together. From a couple of hours, five days a week, we went to entire days together. My boyfriend is really anxious about the Corona virus and since his house has many people in it, he stays mostly at my place. We wake up together, he starts working and I start my things, we cook lunch and dinner together, we exercise together and we spend our evening together.

We don’t have our separate lives anymore, we’re always around each other and don’t leave my house for anything else than groceries. We changed our together-time radically, we abruptly increased it to the maximum and this is what changes our relationship.

My exception

No matter how much time we spend together, we never get tired or annoyed about each other’s presence. I have always called my boyfriend my exception, but being able to be around him all the time proves that he is.

In general, people make me tired. I like being social, I like being amongst friends but usually I need to balance this with alone time. People drain my energy, but he doesn’t. I don’t get tired from having him around, his presence doesn’t annoy me and for me this is proof that he is my exception, my soulmate, the guy I have to be with.

Closer

Because of the time we spend together, we are getting closer than ever. We are getting to know everything about each other, we see everything and we talk about everything. We are learning each other and start to understand everything, we know what the other person needs and thinks in every situation.

I have never been this close with an other person. I have never known someone this well and no one has ever knew as well as he does. It comforts me to be this close, it makes me feel extremely safe with him, knowing that he will understand me in everything that happens, knowing that we will always be able to help each other, to help and bring joy in each other’s life.

Strange hobbies

We are no longer able to do the things we used to love doing together. We are bound to my house and all our activities have to be as well. Over the past weeks we have found some new hobbies together, new ways to make our time more interesting, more enjoyable, ways to make my house feel less small.

Gardening. We started working in the garden together, something I thought I would never like but is now one of the few outside activities we are able to do together. When we work in the garden together we can use the energy we have since doing active things together was what we used to like before the lockdown.

Gaming. Some nights we just don’t know what to do. We both used to play this MOBA (Multiplayer Online Battle Arena) called Dota 2 and on the nights we are completely lost, we open our laptops and play multiple games in a row as a team. Like two teenage boys, eating sugar to stay awake and cursing when we can not win.

Boxing. We both used to box, but never together. Now our boxing classes are cancelled, we started practising together in my living room. We move the furniture and start punching each other. Sometimes we hit too hard and bruise each other but we have a lot of fun together and the exercise makes us feel much better.

My bunny. I believe my bunny thinks he ended up in heaven. We spend hours a day cuddling and playing with him together. My bunny is having the time of his life with all the attention he is getting. Like a little family, my bunny has become our child and we spoil him every day.

Creativity. We started to make stuff together. Build cardboard houses for my bunny, paint together, add features to furniture and sketch. We try to do some creative things together each day, to keep changing the house and just to be able to do something.

Imagination. We use our imagination, try to imagine us being in a cinema when we’re watching a movie, in a restaurant when we have dinner or at a bar when we’re having a beer. We try to create the setting in the house or just use our imagination to pretend we’re somewhere else. You might call us crazy but at least it adds some fun to our nights together.

Downside

Unfortunately, spending this much time together, being this close and comfortable, also has a downside. The COVID-19 quarantine has a very negative impact on our sex-life. We used to have sex very often, we used to love each other’s bodies, but now I can not remember the last time we saw each other naked.

This problem is mostly caused by my boyfriend. I try to dress up in nice lingerie or even walk naked through the house, I tried giving him a blowjob and I tried touching myself in front of him, however, nothing seems to work and he is just not interested in me in that way right now.

I know that I am not in a good place right now, I know my burnout is not making things easy for us and I know that his anxiety for Corona is not helping either. I do believe that he is still in love with me, in the way he winks at me, kisses me or touches me I don’t notice that there is something wrong with us, it is just this one thing that has disappeared when the lockdown started.

We will survive

Overall I think we are doing pretty good together, I believe our relationship is strong enough to survive this combination of my personal breakdown and the lockdown of the world. Most of our days together are amazing and I shouldn’t focus on the one thing that is not ok right now. I have to let go and I am sure it will come back, I am sure that when the quarantine is over, we will stronger and closer than ever, and we will again be able to enjoy each other’s bodies.

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