Imagine waking up on a different planet and walking into a room with 30 aliens. However, you don’t know that these creature are aliens, you don’t even know you’re on a different planet. The creatures in the room look exactly like you, your bodies are exactly the same. You notice that the 30 creatures around you play games you have never seen before, they keep laughing but you can’t figure out what can be funny in the room you’re in and they all speak a language you have never heard before, there is not a single word you recognize.
Now imagine that they also won’t notice that you are from a different planet. They won’t notice that you don’t understand them, because you look exactly like them. The expect you to be one of them. The 30 aliens will keep surrounding you, they will keep talking to you, keep touching you and keep laughing. And the more you try to create some distance between yourself and them, the closer and lauder they will become.
Now what would you do?
You will probably believe you have ended up in a nightmare. You will try to wake yourself up, try to get back to your own bed, on your own planet. In the highly unlikely case this would not be a nightmare but some strange alien abduction joke, you would probably do everything you can to get on the next spaceship or rocket back to the planet you belong.
What if this is every day reality?
But now try to imagine that the feeling you just had, in this room on a strange planet, occurred right here, on earth, in the city you live in even. Try to imagine experiencing this feeling not only in 1 particular room but everywhere around you, everywhere you will be amongst other people. Every door you open, every corner off the street, every person you meet gives you the feeling you just had on this strange planet. It is almost impossible to imagine this, but if you are able to, you will understand what living with an ADHD devil feels like.
For as long as I can remember, I have felt like I am different. I have always noticed that no matter how much I tried to fit in, my mind just won’t the way in which the minds of the people around me work. I have always noticed how I see things other people don’t pay attention to, how I am interested in things other people don’t care about and how I don’t care about what interests them. How I am not able to do things in the ways other people to them and how my emotions have always been either too strong or absent, but never the same as what the people around me expected them to be like.
Every person I have met was human, I have never had the pleasure to meet a real alien, but this does not mean I feel like I belong on this planet. In every interaction I have had with another human, I have noticed the differences that are hidden underneath our matching bodily appearance. My ADHD brain is will hidden behind a face with the same features as any other person on this planet, however it does see a completely different world, and we think different about the world that surrounds us.
I have always felt jealousy for people that are able to listen to another person talking, people that are able to really watch tv, a movie or anything els, people that are able to sit still when they are supposed to, especially the ones that are able to enjoy shavasana (laying flat on your back with arms and legs spread wide a little) for minutes at the end of a yoga class. I have always felt jealous of people that are able to do things, just because they are supposed to do this, no matter how boring it is, without any sign of distraction while doing it. I have always been jealous of people that are able to see time and plan their lives over a longer period of time in a way that it works out.
I have never been a part of them.
Start sharing your planet
I have always felt like an alien, a deviation from the people around me, but this does not mean I am worth less, it does not mean I am less capable or less good. I might not fit into their world but they also don’t fit in mine. Like how I can be jealous of the things that they are able to do, or the way in which they do things, I have also things that they can be jealous of. My creativity, impulsivity an openness often make me preform much better at certain things.
We are different creatures although we might look the same, but we live and this planet together, this planet is both our home. So for all the neurotypical brains reading this, be open to sharing your planet with us, ADHD brains. Let us do the things in our way, without judging us, without trying to change us or fit us in the mold you have created for all people. And once we are allowed, we can show the best side of ourselves and we will show you the many things you should learn from us.