Fluffy little ball of joy

I want to talk about my bunny, this fluffy little guy, roaming around in my apartment, making life so much better, making the fight with my ADHD devil so much easier. He is always happy, always with me and always able to make me feel better when I’m down. He has been a big part of my life for almost 6 years now and without him those 6 years would have been much harder, much more lonely and way less happy.

I never planned on getting a rabbit, but one day I entered a pet store with a friend who needed food for her dog, and there he was, this tiny fluffy ball, 140 grams of love. He was sitting on the counter with two people standing around him, talking about how sick he was, how his medication was too expensive, how it was time to let him go, put him to his final sleep. I couldn’t believe this, I could not believe that they would give up an such a beautiful little creature. I decided to ask them what was wrong with him, he did not look that sick, he was just very small. It turned out he had a lot of cramps, something with his intestine and he would not eat properly and it was costing them to much time and money to take care of him. I asked them if I could take him, see if I could make him better make him eat and grow, and before I knew it I was standing outside with a little bunny and a bit of food.

When we got home I noticed that once again I had let my ADHD impulsivity take over, I did not have a cage or anything else that is needed to keep a bunny, I was completely unprepared for this little guy to stay with me. I sat down on the couch with him, trying to figure out what to do, where to keep him and how to take care of him, how to make him better. But for him, being on the couch with me was enough, he found a spot in between a pillow and my leg to lay down and I noticed he actually looked happy, not sick at all. I stood up to make myself a sandwich, and he followed me to the kitchen, ran around my feet until I got back to the couch and jumped on top of my plate and started eating my sandwich. After we finished the sandwich together he laid down on my lap, until it was time to go to bed and he joined me.

The next morning I woke up from a tickling feeling on my nose, I opened my eyes and I saw this happy little bunny, licking my nose, asking for attention. From the moment we arrived home he got better, once in a while he would get cramps, but he would come to me press his little belly against my hand and I would massage it until the cramps went away and he was fine. This little guy wasn’t actually sick, he just felt lonely he just needed some love, and by taking him home he got the love he needed. In a way he is like me, when I don’t see anything good in my life I also stop eating, I also lack energy to do anything, and I also need to feel loved to feel happy, I also feel better when I’m surrounded by the right people, or the right bunny. In a way we are the same, and in a way we can help each other with this.

It might sound weird that I see my own struggles in life in my bunny, but since I have him with me I feel more relaxed, more happy, more loved maybe. Whenever I enter the house he is waiting for me by the door, inside he will follow me everywhere, he still wakes me up every morning while licking my nose and he is very good in demanding some attention from me. Whenever I feel sad, he will just be with me, sleep next to me, cuddle with me and give me some comfort. When life becomes busy he makes me slow down and he makes me enjoy the little things. If he doesn’t get enough attention, he is very good in demanding time, and by doing this he forces me to slow down and relax. If I’m stressed and don’t have enough time for him he will force me to take time to cuddle with him, he will push his head underneath my hand, he will lay on top of my belly so I can’t get up and he will start making a mess if I ignore him. His needs are in a way my needs, what he wants is good for me.

Besides the emotional benefits from being a bunny-mom he also controls some of my other ADHD struggles. My impulsiveness for example, I can no longer just leave my life without planning, I can not just stay away for more than 1 night without anyone to take care of him. If I ever have the “unknown” bubble popping up in my agenda, and I did not plan the end of it he will make me return to normal. Besides, the routine of feeding him every day, twice a day, gives me a bit of structure, even on the worst days I have to get up pretty early to give him some food. I need to have fresh vegetables for him to eat, which means I will have fresh vegetables for myself to eat, which was a huge struggle before I got him. I am responsible for his life, and because of this, things get easier for me to do. And if I don’t, he will remind me, because after 6 years together he has figured out ways to make me do things, to make me remember what he needs. When I started writing this he was sleeping peacefully against my leg but the last minutes he has been scratching my arm and nibbling my fingers, I probably forgot to give him his food this morning.

For more information about the “unknown” bubble, read: https://30dysadhd.wordpress.com/2020/03/08/adhd-life-love-and-struggles-symptoms-adhd-means-controlling/

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